Taking a big breath…and letting go.

house under the oaks

The stress of trying to arrange for an estate sale was too much for me, so I let it go and have been giving our things away.  I’ve found that there is a greater benefit to this decision than I knew:

We’re letting go of the an accumulation stage of our lives.  We’re saying, “Nah, we don’t need things,” and, “That IS beautiful–I’m glad I got to see it but I don’t need to own it.”  We’re saying, “I don’t need more than five outfits–it’s easier to keep up with laundry this way.”

Selling our possessions is still granting them too much importance.  It is letting them continue to loom large in our lives, hearts, and pocketbooks.  It is still living life in accordance with ownership.

Giving them away is much more in the spirit of this great endeavor we are embarking upon.  Giving them away says that possessions are useful to those who use them, and we begrudge them to no one.  It says that we are open to things (material and ideological) flowing in and out of our lives unhindered by sometimes-irrational emotional ties.

I also figure the karma is bound to prepare us for a life of needing and using little, and relying on being able to conjure up what we do need as we need it.   Letting our things go out into the world, creates a world where things can flow to and from us more easily.  Being less greedy makes it possible for us to have things more easily.

Practically speaking?  We have lots of expenses to cover in preparation for this trip.  Wouldn’t selling our things help get our solar array?  Yes.  But it’s not worth it.  We will just have to get our solar array without hoarding and haggling.

I’m struggling now to figure out how to apply this newfound release (and relaxation) to our house.  Debt is always a complicating factor, and that’s the problem with the house–we owe as much, or more than, it’s worth.  How do we release the house when it is tied to obligation?  We looked into selling it, but it doesn’t seem like we can get enough to pay it off.  So we’re looking into renting it, which is not our preference because we want to be cut free from the ownership of it.  We want to not be collecting money from it, and paying money out on it.  We want to not know or care if something broke, or even whether the trees are fruiting.  We have other things to rest our attentions and intentions upon now and we’re ready for a different game.

Yet, the debt, and the house remain.  It is a beautiful house, that I would dearly regret letting go if I wasn’t so excited about letting go.  We got married on the lawn surrounded by the people dearest to us.  Our daughters were born in the house.  We built half the house ourselves, painted fanciful murals and details, tiled imaginative and personal mosaics, planted blooming vines that have flourished…

And now that I am finding it so easy to let go, I can appreciate the house, and the memories, without any urge to hold onto the physical markers of those things.  I have my husband, my marriage, and my children.  The place where wonderful things happened–and whether or not we keep it–is not nearly so relevant to the wonderful things themselves as it used to seem.

While I contemplate how to release the house, debt and all, I invite anyone looking for a love-filled family home to consider buying or renting ours, seen here: http://www.wrapyourbaby.com/house/details.html

And anyone who has advice or words of encouragement–always welcome!  Please comment with your insight.  I could use some right now.

13 Replies to “Taking a big breath…and letting go.”

  1. We’ve always rented, and I admit I was a bit sad to leave our last apartment because that’s where my HBA2C baby was born. I could stand on the very spot where he crowned on our living room floor and proudly proclaim that’s where he was born. Then I realized that the majority of babies are born in large institutions filled with cold, white walls and bright lights. Leaving the place of birth 13 months after he was born wasn’t nearly as bad when I realized that fact. I knew in the back of my mind that some day we’d have to leave that apartment anyway because it’s a rental unit — it’s not meant to be permanent. While I miss our apartment for a variety of reasons, I can say that I’ve made peace with the fact that we won’t ever live in the place of my youngest’s birth ever again. Instead, the memory of his birth can live on in my heart, mind, and my little boy himself. After all, I’m never going to be detached from the birth canal he squeezed through to enter the world outside my womb. =)

    1. I say create such wonderful memories everywhere you go that it’s impossible to get tied down to the locations! Take your heart, mind, womb, and little boy and leave the rest! Thanks for sharing your intimate experience with us!

  2. I missed you! I knew you were busy getting ready. Your hard work on your home shows, your home is beautiful.

    Good for you for giving those things away! The fact that they take them out of your house for free, that’s a gift in itself! I started selling things and then I got tired and then I just decided to give them away. I’m positive that the money will come in a different way. And the people are so happy to receive these things. It’s a gift to share some joy, too.

    Another family will live in your house and they will create their own memories. We don’t own anything, everything is in the meantime.
    You are doing the right thing! You are going to be so free and I’m excited for you! I also see my house differently. I see all houses differently. I don’t know if I can see a house the way I used to anymore.


    1. Such a great viewpoint, Mariza: “It’s a gift to share some joy, too.”

      You also reminded me of what Ani DiFranco said. “My body is borrowed–I got it on loan for the time in between my mom and some maggots…”

  3. Your house is beautiful! I can SO relate to not selling stuff. I feel like I’m being a bit lazy in giving things away, but I also feel good about what I’m doing. I have given some things directly to people that may benefit from them and then the majority of stuff to Goodwill.

    I, too, have been asked why I don’t sell it and use the money to get our rig, but it isn’t worth the hassle.

    Maybe you could sell your home as a take-over-payments thing? I really know nothing about real estate. Good luck!

    1. Thanks Momma Jorje! Our emotional peace is worth the price (or lack thereof) of our possessions! And if we’re enjoying freedom of possessions so darn much, it goes to show that “things” are highly over-rated!

  4. you have a beautiful home! and i am sure you will have so much fun putting your own touches on your new home (rv). we made sure to bring along the things that made us feel at home, our favorite quilt on our bed, throw pillows, books, bin of musical instruments, etc. and, after two yard sales within the week before we moved out for good, we just gave it all away, too (and moved some up to donate to our friends’ farm). even now that we have been in the rv for two months, we are still finding things we could do without, constant clearing i guess 😉

    about renting or selling the house, you may find someone that wants to rent to own, or you could consider a short sale. not optimum, but it is not looking like florida home values may rebound for quite some time if ever. we ended up losing money on our home when we sold, but it was completely worth it to be free of that attachment.

    1. It’s so good to hear from a family that’s a few months ahead of us on this adventure! I promised my mom that there were other families living in RVs and she asked if the RVs weren’t always cluttered. But I’ve heard other fulltime families say what you just did–constant purging…and enjoying it!

      Yes, we’re definitely open to rent-to-own or a shortsale. I guess we wait and see what we get!

  5. Hello Diana, I had been learning from you from 3 years about how to wrap and now, I will be learning from you about this new adventure! My family is in the same position that yours, we are also trying to get the funds necessary to start a trip to find a new place to live:), so I really think we are in a new phase of humanity, the planets are aligned and we are ready to create a different society, one based in our families and people not things. I will love to talk to you one day as I really don’t know a lot about how to start planning for this trip of ours;). Much love to you.

    1. That’s beautiful, Johana! That’s exactly how I feel about my family’s adventure, and I love that you are extending it to a societal shift!

      Please keep watching the blog. I don’t know a lot about how to start planning for my trip, either, but I’m doing it anyway and would love to have you around. Check out the blogs of Angela and Mariza who commented above for more inspiration.

  6. we move around a lot. we have owned homes, but mostly rented. both of our daughters were born in different homes and we don’t live in either of them, or ever will again. me move so much that our memories are tied to our location at the time. as in, clara cut her first tooth at the house on jackson, and took her first swim lesson while we were living in seattle. when we look back through pictures over the years the background always changes, but we are always home, we are always together. that’s really all that matters to us.

    i’m so happy to have discovered your blog. i will be following along as you continue on your journey.

    much peace and many blessings to you.

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